This is my writing task for making the sentences more interesting than what it was before I had edited it
This is my response to text for this weeks task. “a sinking feeling” it’s a story of a boat race and learning about different strategies to use and learning about how volume and density helps with this
This is my writing task, it was supposed to be a 200 word challenge but I ended up getting it to a 300 word challenge.
200 Word Challenge – Descriptive Language
|Who is in the photo?
|A boy and a girl wearing a bright red jumper
|What is happening in the photo?
|The girl is taking a photo of the boy while he’s climbing the mountain
|Where was the photo taken?
|On a mountain
|What makes this exciting?
|That the boy is climbing the mountain without any ropes while the girl is also climbing but looking back with the camera pointed towards the boy
|How do you think the characters feel?
Write a 200 Word recount as either the CLIMBER or the PHOTOGRAPHER.
Remember; your challenge is to use DESCRIPTIVE Language to SHOW, not TELL your audience what is happening.
|Begin your writing here: For a long time me and my brother had been planning on going to the mountains we lived by. We had organised to go tomorrow since we didn’t have anything planned. That night I found it really hard to go to sleep because of how excited I was. I was thinking about how fun it’s going to be and I was also thinking about all the things I’d have to pack for our trip.
Eventually I fell asleep, but I woke up at 6 AM so I had only gotten between 3-4 hours of sleep that night. I rolled out of bed but then the thought of climbing the mountain rushed into my head and I quickly stood up and started getting ready. I was more energetic now and I was rushing myself while also multitasking.
A few minutes later I sprinted out of my room and I was ready to go, I walked out of the house and outside to the car and waited for my brother to get ready.
A few hours later we found ourselves standing in front of the mountain and it was HUGE!! We then walked up the mountain but it was really hard because our bags were so heavy, but we kept on climbing. It took an hour and a few minutes to get to our destination but we made it and the view was amazing. I then got my ropes ready and my camera set up, but before we started to climb we had a quick drink break so we were ready and we had a good rest.
Later on, my brother started to climb to the side and up. While he was getting in place I secured my rope to a pole and made sure it was safe to go down, so I jumped down (carefully) with my camera in my hand. My brother was ready and I was as well, I then pointed the camera at him and he started to climb.
A few hours later we were climbing back up, we had finished with the photos and we were walking down the mountain, back to the car. When we got home we ran excitedly inside and we looked through the photos and they were so cool! We were both impressed with our work but our legs hurt from walking so much and climbing a lot, we had a lot of rest and that day will probably be in my mind for the rest of my life.
For Week One your challenge is to write a 200 word recount of a time you…
Tasted the best food you’ve ever tasted.
|Remember! This week we have been learning about chronological order. Make sure you get the sequence of events in the right order.
|Begin your writing here: The best food I have ever tasted might be fettuccine carbonara. So, a few years ago. during the school holidays, me, my dad, my step mum, and my step sister went to Denny’s for a family dinner, since I was with my mum for the rest of the holidays.
But I didn’t know what to order and I was struggling to choose so I looked over at what my step sister was getting, and she was getting the fettuccine carbonara. so I did the same.
Around 15 – 20 minutes later, when the food arrived. I started eating it and it was amazing! (That’s when it became my favourite meal from Denny’s)
After I ate it I wanted more (but sadly I couldn’t), when we were ordering dessert I got the oreo blender and it was also amazing! (It was also my favourite dessert to get at the time)
Ever since that day I have been getting the same thing from Denny’s, except for the dessert. But I always have the same dinner. So my new goal when I next go to Denny’s is to get something new, something that I haven’t had before. And it might be the new thing that I always get instead of fettuccine carbonara!
This is my writing task, it’s about fixing the order of the writing to help understand what goes where when doing writing, especially recount writing because you need to put it in order so people understand whats happening
This morning, (October 9th) since it was the first day of school of the term we had an assembly to show what we were going to be learning. Most classes made a movie and others did a play.
First team 1 went and they had a movie. It showed a dog names “max”, he was a bad behaved dog and he always annoyed the neighbours and his owner (miss Shirley) found a poster talking about how they would find solutions to bad behaved animals, she then rang the number that was on the poster and told them about her problem, after a while the team were trying to figure out what to do to show how to solve the problem, after working together as a team and giving each other ideas they finally found a solution. when they rand miss Shirley again she was so excited to hear what they came up with (a mini gate), in their movie they showed what to do when they come across a problem and how to work as a team
Team 2 made a movie on how to improve things and thinking of ways to improve it. the teachers were sitting outside of their classroom talking about what they would do if they were superheroes, they all had different ideas on what they would do if they could change the school, then
Team 3 had a play about if they were cave men so they could learn what to do if you don’t know how to do something, the play was to understand to find out how to do something and learning new things
Team 4 had a movie to show what to do if it doesn’t seem right and how to be kind to others and work together as a team. they had clips of students doing things that were not meant to be done and clips of students not including anyone. so they found the solution to work together and listen to what each other has to say about it/something
Team 5 made a song from “bob the builder” but a Ptengland school version and it had all the problems of the teachers in team 5 and Mr Wiseman taught us all the words while he played the guitar
being positive means always helping around and always being kind to others and not being negative: saying rude things, being mean and not listening, if you want to be positive then you should always listen when being spoken to, be kind and say positive things about others and making sure not to hurt others and even your own feelings.
This is my math whizz progressions for this week, we have to have 4 by the end of the week and I have finished